Between The Highs

It has been just over two months since I completed Ironman Texas.  Needless to say, my motivation has been lacking.  Not nonexistent but the goals seem to pail in comparison to the feeling of accomplishment of IMTX.  I was dying the two weeks after the race, forcing myself to recover and basically doing nothing. I was antsy and felt the need to get out and train! But as soon as training plans showed back up on my Training Peaks, I struggled to find my priorities and complete them.  There are many factors I feel have contributed to this including some big life changes. The week after IMTX I found out that I needed to find a new job.  The hunt began along with the struggles of unemployment.  I have decided to return to teaching and am very excited about it!  With that decision I know comes less freedom in training that I had with my former employer.  I will have to really hone in on my time management skill and get creative to get in quality training.

I am working on finding my footing again after so much in such a sort period of time.  Needing to set new goals and failing because the future seemed so hazy.   Honestly, since May I feel my training has just been me stumbling around.  (Post race blues are a real thing and I highly recommend reaching out to your coach, team, or if you have access to a Sport Phycologist, to do so!)  I felt that because I didn't have a "big" race I was training for, that I lacked motivation.  Without a race goal I was not making my training a priority.  So far all my goals have been race based.  I have finally changed this!  I am focusing more on myself as an athlete not a race or a time.  My focus and goal is to become more comfortable as a runner.  

I have never called myself a runner.  In fact I would tell you "I am not a runner". The negativity of this statement runs deep and can cause unseen damage.  I discredited myself because I felt I lacked history and experience in running.  I never ran track in school and had horrible form until I started training with a coach.  In my mind I needed to check the requirements of time, distance and speed off of some made up list in order to call myself a runner, not to mention have perfect form.  After processing all of these thoughts I have come to realize how ludicrous my made up list was and how damaging it was.   

Even with this epiphany I am still struggling.  Balancing life, stress, changes and training is a difficult task for anyone.  I have been hard on myself for "slacking" but I keep taking a step back and trying to provide myself some grace.  I have a few races coming up and I am going to give myself permission to just enjoy them and keep the fun in the sport!  After all, if it is not fun why would we do it?! 

Training and life are hard to juggle.  Don't let it keep you down and don't give up!  I was just telling my daughter the other day when she was riding her bike and I was jogging beside her that she would only loose when she quit.  Her competitive little spirit didn't like that she was not "in first place" to another child.

Training is not about being perfect.  

It is a process, a journey and about bettering yourself.  
Sometimes we stumble and fall.  

It is not a failure but an opportunity to learn, adjust focus, adjust goals and 

start over the next day.   

Between the highs are where you find the biggest opportunity for mental and physical growth. 

Embrace it.
Learn from it.
Most of all... keep trying!